Dancing sets the soul free. In this New Year remember to listen to the music in your heart and dance the love of life. Your heart with dance and you will smile. And your smile will infect those to live the Dance of Life. Their unique life. Their unique dance. As you yours. GAPO
No matter the language, the universality of dance touches the soul every time.
At Thanksgiving it is helpful to remind ourselves of the blessings we are, we give, we have, we receive.
We are a moment in time. What contribution do I make to this moment of time in my life and the lives of all those whose lives I touch. This short TED talk on Gratitude touches all parts of our lives.
NOT TEXTING WHILE DRIVING IS A PRACTICE. If it’s to be it’s up to me.
The life you same may be one of my family members
Please share this video. It is one of the most mindful gifts you can give to all those whose lives you touch.
Mindfulness is a practice. It is about me being awake, aware and living my life intentionally. If I stand for being mindful, then everyday I am aware of my moments of my mindlessness.
Werner Herzog’s documentary is a view of unintentional mindlessness. It is about not being here, present and in the NOW. It all took place in just a second, and life is forever changed.
And even in the most horrible of experiences, forgiveness can be found. First of ourselves, and then those that experienced what we have done.
Mindfulness Is A Practice.
NOT TEXTING WHILE DRIVING IS A PRACTICE. If it’s to be it’s up to me.
Dr. Caroline Meeks is a physician who became Dr. Funshine as she developed her practice and a following through her Laughter Yoga. In this video she shows us how to use our breathing, mindfulness and laughter to heal from within and without.
Elisha Goldstein who blogs for PsychCentral with his Mindfulness & Psychotherapy says this about De-Stressing with Laughter Yoga:
Dr. Madan Kataria tells us that it doesn’t make a difference whether you force laughter or it comes naturally, eventually it becomes contagious and it just flows. He is the founder of, hold onto your seat, Laughing Yoga. This form of yoga combines laughter exercises with yoga breathing, moving and stretching, which releases much needed endorphins and brings more oxygen and energy into the body. Just like in mindfulness work, we practice just being present for its own sake, in laughing yoga, we just laugh for the sake of laughing and you can’t help but be present to it.
…laughter can decrease stress hormones, improve immune system and boost endorphins.
…laughter can improve circulatory and cardiovascular health. This can be supportive when struggling with stress, anxiety, or depression. Apparently it’s been used with Iraqi war veterans, Policemen in Taiwan, and those struggling with cancer.
What has always been interesting for me regarding the walls that I build is are they keeping me in or are they keeping me out. Walls protect against vulnerability. Vulnerability protects against the need for building walls. Sometimes I am so busy breaking down walls that I don’t see there is a door right around the corner.
This short video by Cleveland Clinic truly touches what it means to have Empathy. I know not what you are experiencing. There is no empathy without me being vulnerable.
In relationships couples/friends/partners realize that they have built a wall between themselves. One finally decides to break down the wall and works diligently to break through. When they finally get through, they realize to their dismay that each of them had been building their own wall. While breaking through their own wall, the other person’s wall remains intact. This was shared by my brother, Jimmy, many years ago and was an eye-opener.
Anger at others is my wall for keeping myself from admitting that the issue, whatever it may be, is about me and not about the other person or situation that angers me. One of the hardest lessons for us to learn. I must remind myself that the more conscious I become, the more sneaky and underhanded and nefarious my unconscious becomes. To say I will never get angry again is first step my unconscious takes to puff up my ego and forget Terrence’s 3rd century aphorism: Nothing human is alien/foreign to me.
This statement by Jerry Harvey, author of The Abilene Paradox, captures what Pema Chhodron addresses in her talk on “The Propensity To Be Bothered.” It is a way for me to remove myself from having anything to do when I feel wronged or hard done by. There is a belief that I am an innocent victim and somehow not involved in what has happened to me. I know I can find situations where there are innocent victims. However, I am looking at myself when I get angry and upset at someone for what they did to me.
I have learned that when I am upset, angry, bothered, ticked off that it says more about me than whoever or whatever situation I blame.
My tendency is to give intentionality to the person who has wronged me. Jerry Harvey statement about “Why are my fingerprints on the knife in my back,” has been helpful. Over the years those words have allowed me to observe the part that I have played in creating the situation. Often I and the people I have counseled when hearing those words have a new perspective about maybe not being the innocent victim.
Blame allows me to deflect a question I need to ask of myself: What role did I have in creating this situation I am angry about and blaming someone else for doing it to me?
In her book: How To Meditate, shares these insights. I have taken the liberty to put it in the first person as I am speaking only for myself:
I can be caught in the momentum and carried away, which usually means I start talking to myself about what’s going on. I churn it all up more and more, and it’s like the ripples go out and out and out.
When I choose to reinforce the emotion, when I choose to exaggerate it, when I choose to let the emotion run me, to let the emotion carry me away, then I start a whole chain reaction of suffering.
I set off an automatic chain reaction like those ripples. So in meditation, I train in letting the rock, the emotion, drop without the ripples. I stay with the emotion rather than turning to my automatic reaction, a reaction that has been habitual for me for years and years.
And believe me, two seconds of doing something so radical, so counter-habitual, of not setting off my chain reaction, completely opens my life to this working from the space of open awareness. And if I don’t reject my emotions, they actually become my friends. They become my support.
My rage becomes my support for stabilizing, for returning my mind to its natural, open state. Emotions become my support for being fully awake and present, for being conscious rather than unconscious, for being present rather than distracted. That which has been an ogre in my life has the ability to just sweep me away—or it can become my actual friend, my support. It’s a whole different way of living, a whole different way of looking at my same old stuff.
As I type this there are tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat.
This same thing happens when I read a poem, hear some music, watch a play, or observe the virtuosity of a performance be it music, or dance, or athletic. It touches in me what is humanly possible and it is manifest right there in front of me. It touches my soul. It touches my human connection.
I know it took practice and time. The measure of performance is: Performance. And when it is executed flawlessly, I am moved. For a part of me knows what it takes to achieve that performance.
It also inspires me to stay with my practice. Being a world class human. Being better at it tomorrow than I was today while accepting myself
Buddha reminds me:
After thorough observation, investigation, analysis and reflection, when you find that anything agrees with reason and your experience, and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, and of the world at large; accept only that as true, and shape your life in accordance with it; and live up to it.
The ancestor of every action is thought. — Emerson
Steve Robertson reminds us in this Huffington Report article Mindfulness and Monkey Mind:
Our minds are abuzz with thousands of thoughts each day, all of which compete for our attention and a corollary action. The Buddhists call this untrained mind of buzzing thoughts the Monkey Mind.
While it is a metaphor, Lee Thayer reminds us in Communication: A Pocket Oracle for Leaders
Communication is a bit like a virus. If I am listening to someone or something, my mind is involved and will be infected or afflicted by my complicity in the process.
IF i am going to speak or write something, I have already infected my mind with my thoughs and my strategies. Then, when I carry on I engage the minds of others, and then they are now “infected.”
…There are good viruses. And then there are bad viruses.
If I am reading, listening, or observing, my mind will be affected. If I am talking or otherwise “communicating” with others, their minds will be affected. If i am watching television or a video, my mind will be affected. It will be altered from then on, for good or for ill.
So what’s the lesson?
Avoid the bad germs that affect or infect my mind. Seek out the good germs. Do the same for others. Require them to do the same for one another. Both the health and the destiny of my life, my family, my community and the world utterly depend upon it.
Susan Scott of Fierce Conversations would put it this way:
My life succeeds or fails, one conversation at a time.
This is where I have to remember that all conversations are with myself. They just happen to involve other people part of the time.
So I am back to sitting quietly. Breathing and observing my breath. I get to observe my monkey mind and let the buzzing go. Quietly and calmly I bring my mind back to observing my breath.
Mindfulness is a practice. Practice makes permanent. Right practice makes right practice permanent. If I am not practicing I a coasting. And as the saying goes: When you’re coasting, you’re going down hill.
This video from UCSD Mindfulness Center with Jon Kabat-Zinn is a good reflection about coming to our senses.
It is with the heart that one sees rightly.
For what essential is invisible to the eye.
The Little Prince
We are back to the awareness that the way I think influences who I am and who I am influences what I do.
Lee Thayer in Leadership: Thinking, Being, Doing shares:
Behind and under and before every perception, every feeling, every decision and every action, there are habits. Habits of mind, habits of perception, habits of feeling, habits of reaction and action. “The World” about which we speak so loosely does not “inform us. We are “informed” by our own thinking and feelings about what that world is like and what is going on in it.
In short, The first and last leadership lesson is this:
We are led by our habits of feeling, of thinking,
of perceiving, and of understanding.
Get those right, and everything beyond becomes possible. Get those wrong, and the outcomes will always be something you didn’t choose.
When Susan Scott was writing Fierce Conversations, someone said she should write one about work and another one about outside work. Her comment was: Whether you squeeze an orange at home or at work what do you get? Jon Kabat-Zinn’s book title says it well: Wherever You Go; There You Are.
I remind myself: Be slow to react when triggered. I never know what the other person has been through or is experiencing.
This video from the Cleveland Clinic is a moving reminder of empathy is our human connection to one another.
You will enjoy the following Mindfulness Series from Evolution Counseling.
“The wisdom of the East presented in a way the Western mind can understand. Series of articles with meditations, philosophy, and psychology to help you achieve mindfulness in the 21st century.”